it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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