I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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