one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
