I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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