I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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