he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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