im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
