Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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