its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
