her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
