it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
