the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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