We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
