I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
