Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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