if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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