Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Everclear isn't food dammit
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize