Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
