There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
it's like heaven, but drunker
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
