Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
