direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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