Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
