i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
