they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
