chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
try to milk me bitch
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize