id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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