Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
