let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
