put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
