Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
