Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
