There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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