and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Houston, we have a squirter
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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