so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
People in love make me want to vomit
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
