she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
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