Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
