I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
