hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize