at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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