he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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