So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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