I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
