holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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