Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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