Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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