my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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