AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
how drunk are you?
Several
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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