How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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