If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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