Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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