I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
too bad you live with your parents still
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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