The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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