Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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