you guys were way drunker than both of me
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
