god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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