My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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