That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
