4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize