we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We have started to decorate penises.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
