You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
